Vampire Mash Up

Today marks week 3 of not smoking, but my pack a day gum addiction is increasing, funny that I do not really have the urge to smoke but I miss the social interaction of smoking, especially at work where I would go out a few times a day to get away, now I feel weird going outside and just standing around chewing my gum. The dreams have gotten a little better, at least they do not start the second I go to sleep, but they are still weird. Last night I dreamt that Sarah Michelle Geller was a vampire and that Pee Wee Herman was the slayer, talk about mashing up the Buffy movie and the series. They were both after me because I had something in my blood that if one side or the other got it would throw off the balance of power. Why are all my dreams lately about people chasing me? Back to the dream, after running and running and running (I sure get a lot of exercise in my dreams) I said the hell with this and I went on the offensive and got some help from Blade (yeah, Wesley Snipes, not the TV show Blade, he sucked). So we Kill Pee Wee while he was searching for me at the movies……at least their was no porn playing on the screen and we got Buffy at a strip club…don’t know why but Blade took the bills that were stuffed in her g-string and we ended up at Tobacco Road to drink some beer. Over beer we decided that we would team up and kill other blood suckers that were destroying Miami. 1st on the hit list was Mayor Giminez, we staked him in the ass with a 9 inch stake, his insurance couldn’t cover it all. We also got Rick Scott, Ozzie Gullien, Norman Braman and all the commissions of both City of Miami and Miami Dade. All in all it was a really nice dream. But when I woke up it was all for not I am still 9% poorer and always looking over my shoulder for the next pay cut.

This job is going to kill me!

As I close my eyes I cant help but wonder “what fucked up world will I be travelling to in my dreams” Still on the chantix and popping eclipse gum like it is going out of style, lucky for me 7-11 has a promo going buy 1, get 1 free. But not smoking which is the point. Don’t get me wrong I still get the urges and sometimes it is rough but pushing through it. So back to my dream land world. I have had a couple of dreams since I last updated this blog but the best so far was I was on a safari in Africa with about 10 other people who I did not know in a big truck looking at an elephant in the distances when out of nowhere a guy dressed in tribal warlord garb explodes out of the bush with a sword and a spear. Before anyone can react he has slaughtered about 5 people and the rest of us jump out the truck and start hauling ass with the warrior lord in hot pursuit. He kills 2 more with the spear cuz them where running in a straight line. I look to my left when I hear a scream and a chick was trying to cross a small river but a big ass croc got her. I hear 2 more screams and I can only wonder what happened to them then I hear my name called in a familiar accent but it sounds crazed and I turn quickly and the warlord is my boss and he is throwing the spear which misses me by only a few inches. Then he stops and yells that he is going to give me an hour head start so that the hunt will be fun. The crazy son of a bitch is hunting me and as I run I can still hear him laughing. Long story short this game of cat and mouse goes on for sometime until the end as I think I am safe in a tree with thick leaves about 30 feet off the ground and not making a sound or movement, war lord boss jumps through the leaves right in my face and sword slashes my creek, I scream and take a step back and now I am falling head first to the ground as I hear the laughter above me. I am about 6 inches from smashing skull first into the ground when I wake up panting and sweaty ass hell. Now the bad part of these dreams is that I wake up multiple times through out the night and when I close my eyes I go back to the exact spot where the dream left off. So this dream played out in my head for over 5 hours. FML. Tomorrow I will post my dream about Gary Coleman being my son’s dad. That was a weird one. LOL. Nightly nightly sleep tight and dream free! Oh Oh I almost forgot "HAPPY 420 DAY" Smoke em up if you got em!!!!

WAKE UP DUMMY! YOU GOTTA GO TO THE BATHROOM!

Wow, I haven’t been on here in a while. So let’s see, what has changed since last time I wrote? Trying to get my daughter on the phone is still like pulling teeth and when I get my son on the phone it is all “yes” “yeah” “um hum” and any other variation of yes and of course “no” but I can’t wait to see the giant in the summer. Also, let see … oh yeah today marks day 3 of not smoking and let me tell you it isn’t fun, especially at work since it was so ingrained into my daily routine. Did I want to quit? No, I actually enjoyed smoking but due to my blood pressure I was a ticking time bomb, so hopefully when I go to the doctor tomorrow I will see a change since the commercials on TV say “After 1 day not smoking your blood pressure will be lower” at least that way I get my doctor off my ass. I didn’t quit cold turkey like other do, I was put on Chantix which allows me to slip up and continue taking it, hopefully I don’t because the insurance does not cover this med and it cost me $200….FML. These are the side effects of the drug “Constipation; gas; headache; increased appetite; nausea; stomach upset; taste changes; trouble sleeping; vivid, strange, or unusual dreams; vomiting” WOW at least my penis will not fall off. One effect I have had is the fucked up dreams. I always have had weird dreams, but now they are going to a new level. I wish I could record them and sell them to tweakers and ‘shroomers. The worst one I had was dreaming that I had to pee and I couldn’t wake up, which is bad enough but in my dream I kept peeing and peeing and the room was flooding. I finally woke up when the pee started going into my mouth, and of course my hands shot down to my crotch which thank the zombie Jesus were dry and of course when I went to the bathroom I didn’t have to pee. Another dream I had was that the White House was in Little Havana across the street from the Arms and it got hit with an earthquake and was crumbling and I ran in because I heard screaming and a co-worker was giving birth and the baby shot out of her and we took off running down the street and when we got to the crazy house a tsunami warning hit so we started running back to the Arms and into my apartment and I heard a ruckus in the bedroom and a tornado was tearing up the room so we ran out again and it was clear and sunny until planes started falling out of the sky. I woke up right before a 747 splattered my ass off.
So I think I am going to use my blog to remember my dreams on drugs.
So sleep tight and wear a diaper and scuba gear to bed.