What is this weird place I have stumbled upon?

Damn, it has been almost 5 months since I stumbled upon my little neglected blog. As I sit here bored out of my mind and sleepy watching the rain from non-factor tropical storm Nicole dump inch after inch of rain at work, I wonder how the f#@k am I gonna get home? Oh well, on other news. Halloween is coming up and next weekend the crew will be in Orlando for Screamfest and HHN, I cannot wait. Booze and scares!

I was offered an interesting job proposal yesterday, well not really a job job, but a 1 time deal. A friend’s brother in law is having a Halloween party for his kid and I was referred to him as the man to get it done. So after asking him what he wanted to do and the budget that he had (not to pay me, but to get the stuff he would need) he just said “Come over to my house, look at the yard and give me what you think” So after we talked some more he said “I will pay you to use your props and do you think that you could be part of the show” I was like “HELL YEAH, I love scaring the shit outta kids, but I love making adults scream even more. So I am meeting up with him this Saturday.

The funny part was that I had a conversation with a co-worker the other day saying that my dream job would be making/owning/running a haunted house. I know it isn’t the type of thing you can get rich at or not have another job to survive, but it would be something I enjoy. So who knows where this little meeting on Saturday will lead me in my future, all I know is that I look forward to October and hopefully can make a little something something out of my passion for Halloween.

Take it eZ

This is just a dream, this isn't real. This is just a dream

Hush now baby, baby, dont you cry.
Mother's gonna make all your nightmares come true.
Mother's gonna put all her fears into you.” – Pink Floyd

Dreams are funny things. They can put a smile on your face as you wake up from them or they can leave you in a panic as you fight to wake up. I usually don’t have dreams per say, not the nice ones at least. The best way I can describe it is as visions or a sense of future déjà vu.

I think I constantly find myself doing is looking at planes go over me and wonder will this be the day I see one go down. As terrible and horrific as it sounds, I have had that dream. Standing outside of my house and 1st hearing the plane then looking up to see smoke and fire and the plane getting lower and lower. I always think the same think: Don’t rush, try to gauge where the plane will go down, gather up my family head the opposite way, call 911, get my cell phone out and start recording….well I might as well get paid for the footage. Most people have hurricane preparedness plans and even zombie apocalypse plans (I have one of those), I have a “Oh shit, a plane is crashing plan”.

I do not know of the psychology of what you dream. If you dream that you see yourself die, will you die? Of course, we all do at sometime or another and yes I have seen myself die in my dreams and of course one of them was by a plane crashing on top of me. Is our subconscious trying to tell us something? The dreams I hate the most involve my kids, those are the ones that I struggle and fight to wake up from and those are truly nightmares.

On a couple of occasions I will see something happening and get a sense of déjà vu and I feel that I saw before in my sleep. Now I wouldn’t go as far as saying that I am the drugged out painter from the 1st season of Heroes, but I get that vibe sometimes. I have told myself many of times that I need to have a pen and paper by my bed to jot down what I saw in my dreams since I tend to remember them vividly when I 1st wake up. But as quick as I get up they start to fade, especially the good dreams, the nightmares tend to last a little longer.

I guess a bad back can be a blessing and a curse, since I can only sleep for a few hours at a time before the pain sets in and I have to start with the tossing and turning to get comfortable.

Hopefully tonight I dream of the lotto and I remember to jot down to 6 little numbers.

Sweet Dreams!

Life moves pretty fast.

Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. – Ferris Bueller.

These past few weeks have been a total blur. Between work shit, moving shit, injury shit, ex-wife shit, kids shit....you can say it has been pretty shitty. Don’t get me wrong, it hasn’t been all shitty, nothing a bottle of rum can never fix.

1st I had moving drama, you always hate to move. The packing up of all your shit and wondering to yourself..(Damn I didn’t think I had this much crap) then dealing with the ghetto ass chick and her Ed Hardy wearing boyfriend who were trying to get the same apartment we were. So after some tense moments we got the apartment. Pro’s are that it has a great view, con’s you have to maneuver 3 flights of killer stairs. With the helps of friends we were able to get the place painted and moved in less than 3 days. In between we had a work function for Lydia and I was impressed that the free booze was top shelf. I made them pay for open bar after I killed a few screwdrivers in less than an hour. Then the after party was at our new across the hall neighbor’s place. More drinking and I was baptized the official DJ of the Arms. Saturday night after a full day of moving we hit Harvey’s on the day for a night of good friends and cheap beer. Note to self, do not go to Harvey’s when they have PPV fights or Ghetto proms. Sunday, I woke up hung over (go figure) and made the trek for a day of fun in the sun at the beach with good friends. To bad shortly into the party, Lydia took a tumble off of a wall and really messed up her ankle, she was a trooper and lasted at the BBQ until late in the afternoon, and then we were off to the hospital for X-Rays. So long story short, after a week on crutches with a possible fracture in her ankle, she is now in a boot with messed up tendons. Finally a week later we were able to go to the new apartment with all the boxes waiting for us to unpack them. Slowly but surely.

Work on the other hand is also stressful and tense with dealing with our crazy employee who was terminated. Now comes the appeal that I am sure she is going to do, and then the hearing. Thank the baby Jesus that I like to write supervisor notes, so I should be good to go. We also had Law Day at my job this week, in which I had to prepare my office for. It wasn’t a big deal but when you have a boss that worries about everything it can be stressful. Really how many times do you need to ask me about a banner in the course of 45 minutes?

That leads me to baby-momma drama. Where do I start on this one? Funny I always cringe when I answer my phone and I hear “Sorry to bother you, but”. I have been getting a lot of those calls lately regarding my son. She complains and complains and I feel like telling her “What the fuck do you want me to do from 1,000 miles away?” So I try to talk to him and tell him to do good in school, if not then he will have to go to summer school and not be able to visit me, I tell him to respect his mother and protect his sister. I get the impression that he is on the other line picturing the teacher’s voice from the peanut cartoons “whaa, whaa, blah, blah”. So on top of having to worry about him and the prospect of them not coming to visit in June, now I have to deal with my momma issue of what I need to do, and what his mother isn’t doing regarding him and how I should contact my attorney. WHAT THE FUCK IS MY ATTORNEY GOING TO DO IF THE KID DOESN’T DO HIS HOMEWORK?????

I seriously need a mental health day. So I see water, beer, bait and fishing poles in my near future.

FREAKING FRIDAY!!!!

Friday’s are supposed to be a preview for the weekend correct? If so, I think I am going to lock myself away for the weekend.

Friday drama! What can I say? Was there a full moon last night? Was their some bacteria leaked into the water supply that I didn’t hear about? Is the pollen floating in the air radiated with toxins? Or is it that I work with some annoying crazy ass people?

But I should had know today was going to be bad from yesterday afternoon, when work is calling me almost at 6pm with a problem.

I have the crazy 3 baby momma chick that has shown up late all this week after begging to have last year off with out pay since she didn’t have anyone to watch her kids. Now I have seen these kids in action and I don’t blame anyone for not wanting to take care of those lil hellions. On top of that I find out that she is on anxiety pills and yesterday she did a $500 transaction in which the customer paid $300 via credit card and was supposed to pay the other $200 in cash, but of course crazy clerk did not collect the money but rung it through the system as she did. So some customer got off with $200 off their ticket. Then this morning she calls in saying she is going to be late again because her daughter wont put on her skinny jeans to go to daycare…..ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!!!! So she finally comes in at 9:30 and I see her at 9:50am going out for a cigarette. Sweet Baby Jesus, I wish we ran more like private business; I would fire some many fuckers in a heartbeat.

Then on top of all that shit, 4 other idiots that called in sick and these are the excuses
1. Dog is sick….. Just clean up the shit when you get home!
2 & 3. Stomach aches……Drink some Pepto Fucking Besmol and bring your diarrhea ass into work
4. Daughter is sick……Do you really need to take the day off to care for your 26 year daughter?

And the nail in the coffin before 11am is that our resident asshole Judge wants to fire my clerks for practicing law without a license, which means that the stupid asses of Miami come to our windows and ask what do you think will happen in court. Heaven fucking forbid that we have an idea of what usually happens in court since I have been doing this same job for the last 9 years.

Can’t wait for lunch……I think I am going to the liquid diet of Yuengling while staring out at the water. At least I have Pandora on my phone and am listening to metal to match my mood.

Crazy is, what Crazy does!

I wonder if crazy people know that they are crazy? I mean can a person be so wrapped up in their fantasy life that they can’t see that they need help? Or is it that their insurance company doesn’t cover their meds anymore and they are waiting for the Obama plan to kick in?

Once again, names have been withheld to protect the idiots, or in this case the crazies.

We have this woman at work that I believe is certifiably crazy and the worst part is most of the people are afraid of her on the day she clicks! Well that day might have come a few weeks ago but we squashed it before it got out of hand. Meaning that upper up’s finally decided that they had to do something with her. I am 100% in firing her crazy ass, but unfortunately that is not my call to make. Most employee files are about an inch thick, but crazy has a file over 4 inches thick with all the crazy stuff she has done. We had a disciplinary hearing for her this past Tuesday and read off over 3 pages of counseling’s and incidents that she has had over the past year and she was in total shock. Mind you if I were to get called into one of these hearings, it’s a pretty fair shot that it is to be fired and I wouldn’t show up with my spouse, I would be coming in with 1 or 2 lawyers. Anyways luck may be on our side because her union rep didn’t even show up and she is a due paying member. Go figure, gotta love the Union from where I am sitting.

She has until tomorrow afternoon to submit her rebuttal to the hearing and I keep laughing at the emails that I am receiving from her since we gave her a directive not to call or appear in the office until this is all resolved, but of course I forgot to include an email addendum to the no contact letter. She wants us to provide her with the names of all the employees, public, managers, floating voices, etc… that have complained about her and also copies of her entire file and our own supervisor notes……Ummm……yeah……I don’t think so.

So let’s see if the firing gods are on my side and until then I keep walking outside keeping an eye out for crazy people.

Regrets for lost time

I always dread those calls from SWSNBN (She Who Will Not Be Named) or my ex-wife or banshee bitch. Because after the “Sorry to bother you” then comes “You need to speak to your son”. Now the question that always comes to my mind is what am I supposed to do from 1,000 miles away? Ummm, you’re the mother, you ground him and then call me stating what the punishment is and by the way “YES YOU ARE BOTHERING ME!”.

A little background on my son. He is special needs when he was a month old he got sick and almost died. He didn’t have oxygen to his brain for awhile and it stunted or delayed his mental growth. On top of that he has ADHD and a one track mind that once he gets fixated on something forget it.

Also when I was married I was the enforcer, I would get home from work while SWSNBN ate shit all day and I would hear the A,B,C’s of what the kids (son) did wrong and I would be the one to punish them, then she would come behind me a cut my nuts off by telling them “Oh, your dad is just tried and he didn’t mean to yell at you” Mind you, we lived with my parents and they would always hear her screaming like a banshee at them.

So yesterday my son decided to take his PSP to school and didn’t feel like doing any work. So SWSNBN grounded him from his PSP and laptop for 3 weeks (Lets see if it is 3 weeks). She tells me he is out of control and blah, blah, blah and that I need to talk to him. So he gets on the phone and I ask him why he is acting that way and threaten his sister and silence…..Again……silence. I ask him what’s wrong and he goes off about some game we played for 5 minutes during Christmas…Focus son!

I ask him if SWSNBN boyfriend (poor guy) is nice to him and treats him good and he says yes. This is good for the poor guy, cuz if he ever hurt my kids a horde of zombies would be a peaceful death compared to me… Sorry got sidetracked.

As I am talking to him telling him I love him and what him to protect his sister and do good in school, I start to look back at all the time I missed with them. Cherish the time you have is such a true statement. At the time I thought work and school were more important and that my kids would always be there. Also it didn’t help that for the last few years of my marriage I hated to be in the same room as banshee bitch.

I have told my kids that I didn’t divorce them, just their mother and I ask for them to tell me their feelings again silence…… So are getting off the phone with him and balling my eyes out for like 15 minutes all I have is regrets of not spending more time with them when they were younger. I know that as they get older they will not see me as the bad guy or monster that SWSNBN has made me out to be. But it still hurts to be far away from them.

The good thing is that I will see them for a week in March and hopefully bond with them some more.

WHO DAT BBQ Chef?

You ever have one of those weekends in which you need a weekend to recover from? That was me this past weekend. From Friday to Sunday it was non-stop go time. Friday night was let’s go eat Indian food night. We hit a restaurant called Heeshas in North Miami with the cru. I am not a big fan of Indian food so I let my better have order. I can’t get into the specifics of what we ate, but it was bread with spinach and cheese in it, this was actually pretty tasty also something that looked like a papa rellena with meat in it, was not too impressed with that one and finally some lamb curry stuff which was ok but not spicy enough for me. Plus I think they had to give birth to a little Indian and then let him grow up to be our waiter. The food took that long to come out.

Saturday was help a friend move day. Pretty standard operating procedure here, I supply muscle, you supply beer and food. Hit this new pizza joint on 17ave and Coral Way. It’s just a little hole in the wall but the pizza was good. Had pepperoni, sausage, bacon and garlic….just your typical man pizza. The girls were gonna hit the White Room later to see DJ Craze, but I wasn’t feeling it but after multiple drinks of rum and coke I said the hell with it and went along for the ride. We didn’t make it to see Craze but it was a fun night and back to the Arms for the after party. All I will say about the after party is…..I don’t remember the after party!

Sunday, after waking up feeling like ass it was time to start getting ready for my better half’s birthday party/super bowl party. Funny how when you are hungover, you will still feel like shit until your 3rd or 4th beer, so after my 6th beer I was on top of the world again. We had a great time surrounded by friends while watching them Saints whip some Colts ass. If Top Chef ever had a BBQ edition you are looking at the winner. LOL. I must say I loved the little grill we set up outside and other than Crazy Yathezze Dreadlock guy walking around like a dog begging for food, we were chilling drinking beer and grilling while the sounds of old-school hip hop filled the air.

All in all it was a great weekend with all our friends.

Sick and Tired

I am sick and tired of feeling sick and tried. Why is it that for months at a time I never catch a cold and then BLAM! I have gotten sick twice within the last month.

Other then getting sick I had a pretty good weekend. First on Friday my girl E made an awesome veggie type stir fry with tofu and then we caught up on the episode that we missed of True Blood. Mixed verdict on True Blood, the end of season two did not impress me. I felt that they tried to cram too many plot lines line for next season into the last 5 minutes.

Saturday was my mental relaxation day. This meant I grabbed my cooler and a couple of fishing poles and headed out to Card Sound Road. Nothing relaxes me more than having a beer in my hand and watching the water go by. My friend Barracuda met up with me and after 3 hours of listening to his endless conquest of women on Face book and My Space I couldn’t take it anymore. He was killing my buzz big time. So we packed up and hit Alabama Jack’s. If you have never been to Alabama Jack’s it is a throw back in time. It is fried seafood goodness with red neck flair. Live country band, waitresses missing teeth, food served in paper plates…what else can you ask for. I had the conch fritters with coleslaw and sweet potato fries while Cuda had grilled dolphin.

Sunday saw me and E making blueberry pancakes for the first time. My dad ate em and he didn’t die so I guess I am getting a little good at this cooking thing. For lunch we went to Arbetter’s Hot Dogs and we had the kraut dogs and chili cheese fries. What can I say, everything taste better with chili and cheese. Then for dinner we went to Shibui’s to celebrate my sister’s birthday. I never would have thought that I would see my parents at a sushi restaurant, but hell must be freezing over since this would be the second time there for them. Of course, just cuz you get someone to go to a sushi place doesn’t mean that they are going to eat sushi. We had a wide assortment of rolls and pieces and appetizers. At least I got the old folks to try Kiran Light beer and they loved it.

Yesterday and today I am sick as a dog, called in sick yesterday and sucked it up and coughed my ass to work today. Last night we also had our Monday night ritual of watching 24 and then Lost season 3. I am not feeling 24 this season so far, and Lost oh well what cha gonna do. I feel like fast forwarding to the new season and just getting it over with.

Alright I am taking my butt home and going to sleep before it starts to pour.

Meetings and lunch

Well today was a pretty easy day. We had our monthly meetings, which was nice since I got to see some old friends. After the meeting we headed to the Yardhouse at Merrick Place, I was the first one on the scene so I had of course a beer. A Brooklyn lager then my co-workers started to come and while everyone else was ordering water with lemon I order my second beer, this time a hobgoblin. I love looking at my co-workers expressions as I slip on my non tasty water drink. I had the classic sliders which tasted great along with thier skinny fries. Good news is E's dad is getting out of the hospital. Tomorrows blog will be real interesting as I have to deal with an asshole who is elected with a messiah complex. Stay tuned.



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Happy Birthday Buddy

Today is a bittersweet day for me. My little boy who isn’t very little anymore, actually he is 2 inches taller than me and 3 shoe sizes bigger turns 16 today. Wow 16 years, I remember back when he was a month one and almost died and that the doctors said that he would face serious challenges since he had been oxygen deprived for a period of time. It has been rough he has his delays and as a parent the hardest thing is to see people make fun of your kid because he is delayed or doesn’t show the supposed socially accepted behavior for a kid his age. You my son are a fighter and I wouldn't change you for the world, other than being better than you at video games, cuz you are always kicking my ass.

I remember on many occasions wanting to beat the living shit out of a kid that was smaller than him, picking on him and calling him names and my son would laugh and think that the kid was begin friendly. Kids are ruthless and as the saying goes karma is a son of a bitch and will come back and bite you in the ass, as you can tell I used to be one of those kids when I was in elementary and middle school.

It’s been 2 birthdays since I have spent it with him, yes we talk on the phone but it isn’t the same. Plus, I know something is bothering him but he wont open up to me or anybody. He has been saying something’s at his school that due to the time we live in now could get him in a lot of trouble and I feel helpless because I feel that whenever I talk to him his mother is hovering over his shoulder and he gets nervous and doesn’t want to say anything. Hopefully when I go visit in March I can spend some one on one time with him and he will open up to me. I got to speak to him this morning and I sang happy birthday to him. He called me gay. LOL. All I can do is continue to tell him I love him and care for him and miss him and make myself available whenever he wants to talk.

So I find myself today as I look at the mound of bullshit papers and employee complaints and problems, and evaluations, and blah, blah, blah, reflecting on him as the years have gone by and looking forward to the years to come. Hey you never know in 2 years he will be 18 and then can decide where and who he wants to live with. Hopefully it will be with me.

OK, OK, time to get to work!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BUDDY
Love, your gay dad

Adult Pre-school

This morning I hoped for peace and quiet to catch up on some work…..Boy was I wrong. I should have known that it was going to be a bad day when I almost got side swipped by a bus and almost slipped my coffee…..Bastard, don’t you know that you cant waste coffee at 7:30 in the morning?

I have come to the realization that I am the leader of an adult pre-school…Johnny’s not playing nice, Suzie yelled at me, Mikey smells bad, etc….

By the way in all my future postings, the names have been changed to protect the idiots….I mean the innocents, plus I don’t want to be held liable for any derogatory comments.

So now I have to have a meeting with 60 adult children on how they need to behave towards one another and the public. So I sit at my desk for little less than an hour and pound out a 3 page memo on how they shouldn’t act. But I love my last page which list all the personnel rules that they have been violating which can lead to their dismissal. So now I wait for my boss(es) to approve it and make sure that I made nice with my wording in order not to hurt any of the adultren’s feelings. My staff meeting will be fun on Friday for real.

I see a beer or two or three in my future tonight. Or maybe I will say the hell with it and just drink some rum and watch 6 feet under…..Hmmm, what I could do with some empty land and a shovel with my problematic adultren.

Just another day in the life

What am I getting myself in to?

Again what am I getting myself into? Creating another blog? Does anybody really care about what I have to say about the daily things that happen around me? Or am I really doing this so I can have a journal that I can stumble upon in years to come as I am a homeless Alcoholic stumbling into a local library to try to remember what I was? Wow!!! That last part was even a little to intense for me, sorry to all those who work at the library, I wont be homeless if I stumble in.

Anyways, back on point. If you expect proper grammer, correct spelling, politically correct ideas, morally sound ethics, care for fellow mankind, yada, yada, yada. This is not the blog for you.

As my mom tells me "Hijo, esta vivendo la vida loca" Really!!! news to me, but then again being burnt out at the age of 37 is pretty crazy.

Hope you enjoy the upcoming ramblings of a dazed and confused mind let loose in the streets of Miami.