Happy Birthday Buddy

Today is a bittersweet day for me. My little boy who isn’t very little anymore, actually he is 2 inches taller than me and 3 shoe sizes bigger turns 16 today. Wow 16 years, I remember back when he was a month one and almost died and that the doctors said that he would face serious challenges since he had been oxygen deprived for a period of time. It has been rough he has his delays and as a parent the hardest thing is to see people make fun of your kid because he is delayed or doesn’t show the supposed socially accepted behavior for a kid his age. You my son are a fighter and I wouldn't change you for the world, other than being better than you at video games, cuz you are always kicking my ass.

I remember on many occasions wanting to beat the living shit out of a kid that was smaller than him, picking on him and calling him names and my son would laugh and think that the kid was begin friendly. Kids are ruthless and as the saying goes karma is a son of a bitch and will come back and bite you in the ass, as you can tell I used to be one of those kids when I was in elementary and middle school.

It’s been 2 birthdays since I have spent it with him, yes we talk on the phone but it isn’t the same. Plus, I know something is bothering him but he wont open up to me or anybody. He has been saying something’s at his school that due to the time we live in now could get him in a lot of trouble and I feel helpless because I feel that whenever I talk to him his mother is hovering over his shoulder and he gets nervous and doesn’t want to say anything. Hopefully when I go visit in March I can spend some one on one time with him and he will open up to me. I got to speak to him this morning and I sang happy birthday to him. He called me gay. LOL. All I can do is continue to tell him I love him and care for him and miss him and make myself available whenever he wants to talk.

So I find myself today as I look at the mound of bullshit papers and employee complaints and problems, and evaluations, and blah, blah, blah, reflecting on him as the years have gone by and looking forward to the years to come. Hey you never know in 2 years he will be 18 and then can decide where and who he wants to live with. Hopefully it will be with me.

OK, OK, time to get to work!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BUDDY
Love, your gay dad